The Music

 My life has been full of music. In my childhood the voices came out of stereo speakers as the albums spun around on a turntable. I had to be so careful placing down as the needle as the record began to turn so as not to scratch it. Our turntable sat inside a lovely piece of furniture that framed the wall. Our records lined the shelves. Streisand, Peter, Paul and Mary, The Sound of Music, Glen Campbell, Andy Williams, and The 5th Dimension, to name a few.

And when a record played, the lid, just above the turntable lifted and leaned against a stick arm, like how the hood of a car stays open. These records, this music, was magic to me in my childhood home.

In my pre-teen years, I listened to 45 records on my own box record player. I got it for Christmas when I was about ten. After I started babysitting, around age 12, I started buying 45's from the record store. These were like mini albums with a single song on each side. I still remember my excitement buying, "Daydream Believer." It was a Monkey's record sung by Davy Jones. The flip side was a song by Mickey Dolenz, called, "Going down." I remember buying, "The last train to Clarksville," 45 record too. These little 45 records had a large hole in the center. Much bigger than an album. In order to play them on a regular stereo, you had to snap a plastic insert inside the hole. (See picture.)

When I was a teenager, 8 track tapes came out. Along with 8 track players. Like a VHS tape, these 8 tracks would slide into the player and pop out with an eject button.. Mine was in a low shelf over my headboard. Sometimes my player would eat the tapes, just like VHS players did. Those were sad days indeed. During my teenage years, I went to bed every night listening to Cat's Stevens, "Tea for the Tillerman," James Taylor's, "Sweet Baby James," Graham Nash's, "A song for Beginners," Carol King's, "Tapestry," Neil Young's, "Harvest," Crosby, Stills and Nash, "4-way Street." Across the hall, my brother Ron still played Albums. He bought a new stereo himself, with money he earned working, and we were not allowed to touch his Stereo or his albums, ever. But while I was in my room playing my music, he was in his room playing his. "Born to be wild," a rock song by Steppenwolf, wafted my way regularly, and then, one day a new sound came from his room and I found myself hearing the songs in my head all the time. I loved this music of my brothers, so one day when he was out, I opened his closed door and went inside his room. Two records were sitting out by the stereo. One was called, "Green River," the other, "Cosmo's Factory." I was well aware of Ron's, hands off my stereo and albums rule, but it was more for Lori and Kaylynn in my mind. The little sisters. But I knew how to handle albums and place the needle just so. I'd been doing it for years with our family stereo. And so, I did. I told myself, he'd never know. So for almost an hour I played those 2 records while I stared at the album covers of the band who made that music. They called themselves, "Creedence Clearwater Revival," and I was in love with their country rock sound.

I was pulled away from the music, as I saw Ron pull into the driveway. With my heart about to jump from my chest, I took the record off the stereo and slid it back into the sleeve as fast as I could, then slipped out of Ron's room into mine which was right across the hall. I climbed on my bed and turned on my own music. My heart was still pounding in my chest as I heard Ron come down the hall and open his door. Then I heard it close and took a deep breath.

Who's been in my room? Ron was shouting as he threw open my bedroom door. "Were you playing my albums, Pam?"! I could hear how mad he was. "What the hell? You left my Stereo on!" For a minute I thought he might hit me. "I'm sorry." I told him. "I was listening to Creedence when I saw you pull in. I was really careful," I told him, "Nothing got scratched."

"I don't care!" He screamed. "I told you not to touch my stuff. I was very clear. Don't ever go in my room again! Ever!"

Ron did not talk to me for what seemed like weeks after that. But eventually he let me come in his room and listen to CCR with him. He's the one who told me about the Fogerty brothers and how the band came together. Ron and I still talk about their story sometimes when we are together. Their career was short lived because the band, young and eager to be rock stars, were taken advantage of by their manager who made more money on their song writing and album sales than they did. Their contract would have continued to pay their manager millions of dollars for the next 20 years. So instead of riding down the rock star path, they retired.

And ten years later their comeback concert was watched by millions of people who never forgot them. You put a spell on me, CCR, and Oh... Suzie Q.

It was during these years that Dad bought me a Fender 12 string guitar. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and learning how to play became my passion. I bought a chord book and learned the basics. Then I bought music books and began to play songs. I met Paul during this time and in his broken life music was salve to his soul, so my music became his, and his music became mine. Many of our dates for the next three years were concerts. While I was still in highschool, Mom allowed him to take me to Dallas for a ----------------concert. He was at the house when I got home from school that day which was weird. The concert was a surprise to me. Apparently he had worked it out with Mom and Dad beforehand. The one condition, was that he get me home in time for school the next day. So I changed my clothes, climbed into his car, and off we went.

Music is a huge part of our love story to this day and it continued into the lives of our children. We played music in our house, on car trips and it was joy. One year for our anniversary, our grown kids got together and made a playlist for us of all the music they remembered from their childhood. They called it, "Growing up Payne." I still play it often when we are together.

In my life music truly was magic, and I can't imagine a life with out it.