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Monday, December 9, 2013

Wading through a birthday flood...

My road to glory has had its obstacles, but I did not see this one coming and it flattened me.
I am broken and hurting but I've been here before and I know what to do.
And so...I climb into His lap.

It's familiar and warm and I snuggle in. I'm gonna be here awhile.

He holds me close and whispers reminders. Skies and sunsets and mountaintops and a garden. A death on a cross. Redemption. Grandsons. Promises. Truth. Knowing.

I never thought I'd be in a head on collision at 40 mph by snowcreek golfcourse on my way to Husky Club.

I have 3 fractured ribs, four fractures in three foot bones, and more bruises than I can see but this is nothing compared to what He endured for me.  I dont deserve better, and yet...

He is already at work making beauty from ashes because of a love I can not fathom and He knows that I wrestle with anger because the person who hit me had no drivers license or insurance and He knows I am sad because I loved my car and my phone and they were both destroyed. I say this knowing that these are just "things" and that many people never own a car or a phone and I understand how shallow this sounds and how very blessed I am but the statements and feelings are true all the same and I weep because I know He cares about my anger and my saddness and is at work in my own heart even now because of it.

I can not put my right foot to the ground for 6 weeks and it may need screws and a plate. I will know on Wed. But in this season of change I will get precious and quiet time with Him so I will talk and pray and praise which is a better birthday present than any "thing" of this world could ever be.

My new phone is on its way and so my pictures will follow because I see God everywhere and in the seeing of Him I draw near in worship and the knowing of Him follows this.  It is in this knowing that I can crawl into his lap not having the understanding or answers of why Samuel lived only 19 days or why Seasons precious Kicker was diagnosed with cancer,  but I can settled into his arms in absolute trust of His perfect love and soverign grace over all these things.

So...I sit in His lap. I sit in his lap and wait.