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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Surgery on my heart...a tough season.

     It was a week before my upcoming surgery, and I was a total mess. The pain in my right eye preventing me from wearing my contact and my reading glasses gave me such intense headaches that I literally couldn’t read anything for days. 
     I had also been diagnosed with one-sided deafness. I'm 78% deaf in my left ear. (This has it's own story) But over this last week, the noisy room full of children, which is usually just hard, has become raging river of echo’s and roars. Chaos inside my head. 
     These things, however, dim compared to what I want to share with you now.    
    Back in Jan. I began to taste weird things in my throat.  When I walked into certain places I could taste metals in my throat. I could taste it in my food for days. Other times, when I was around chemicals, my neck would start to spasm, my throat would constrict, and then my neack and head would ache for hours. 
     It all came to a head in Houston Texas at the Siesta Scripture conference.  I had been memorizing Scripture with the LPM ladies and had been looking forward to a trip to Dallas to see my sister and a then the trip to Houston for months. 
    A few hours into the teaching with Beth Moore at the First Baptist church, I was so sick that I asked my sister to lay hands on me and pray inside their beautiful Chapel.  
     Back in Dallas on Sunday, I went forward At Gateway church for prayer. I was ushered to a precious couple in their eighties, and as I stepped forward, they each reached out to hold one of my hands.  
     I told them I was scared. That something was wrong with me. I remember placing my hand over my throat and picturing nodes of cancer growing there. 
     They spoke simultaneously.  “I think you're having a strong allergic reaction to something." And then they prayed for me.  
     I had never even considered that, but as soon as they spoke the words, my fear fled, and I had great peace. But as the day went on, God reminded me of something I had read in my "Juicing" book but had forgotten about. When I got home I dug out the book. There was one small section that I had highlighted. "Take it slow. I got really sick when I started this. Your organs are going to release their toxins."
     I got more and more sick before I was told that my reaction to chemicals and perfumes was near anaphylactic.  (I know you ladies from Californian won't really get this, but picture with me a very large church in Houston Texas full of beautiful ladies that love hairspray and perfume.) I am smiling now, but I don't wonder any more why I go so sick there.)
     This was something I could deal with, but I was sicker than I had ever been in my life.  I had no energy. I was exhausted.  I could barely do my job and if someone looked me in the eye, I started to weep. I have never been so thankful to be in communion with  women of faith. Their love and prayers kept me going.   
     Then the Wed. morning before my surgery came,  and when I opened my eyes, even before my feet hit the floor, I knew that God had done something amazing. 
     Walking to the bathroom I felt light and energetic. I hadn’t felt that way in months. 
     I put in my contact in.  And that afternoon, the classroom noise was just loud. 
I climbed into bed that night praising God for what He had done. 
     My surgery was scheduled for the following Monday.  
    On Fri., just two days before, I had a deep feeling that the reprieve in my allergic reactions might be just temporary, that I wasn't done with all that yet, but I also told two friends that I believed God was saving me from something.  Something that had to do with my upcoming heart surgery.
    And he did. 
    That part of the story will come in the form of a Memorial stone. A memorial stone that is shaped like my heart. I am going now to dig a deep hole into the ground of remembrance. And for me, it will always be a blister on my back.