I am yours Lord...

     What began as God's gentle prompting seems clear and perfect in the stillness before dawn but when the rest of the world wakes up the clouds roll in and its get dark and foggy.       I try to walk it out but my feet are unsteady. I am vulnerable, ill-equipped, unsure, it's too hard.  I don't know what I'm doing and I read and pray and think, "Why as I doing this?" and  so I stop.   

     When I am empty, I draw near, God pours in and I push through.  I cut and paste. I write and learn and read and learn and write and learn and re-write.   
     My heart is full of desire to bring glory to God and I know He knows this but I am terrible at it and I grumble and I fail.
      But He holds my hand as we walk back to the beginning where I read in my own words how this whole thing started and I know it is my journey so I take a deep breath and sigh and take another tiny step.   

     Here I stand.  Feet planted on the Glory Road but confessing that the last several miles was uphill and rocky and I am not strong and I am tired and I really just want to find a different road. 
     But this road is mine because God placed me here and I trust him so I walk. I want to run and dance and jump and sing and climb while full of great worship because He is worthy of all my praise forever and ever and ever!  That's want I want to do. 
     So I put one foot in front of the other and then I do it again because I it becomes my worship. Blisters or not I will look at Jesus as I trudge over hills, pluck out thorns, and pull my feet from tar because I know what Jesus took to the cross for me and I want it all to be my joy. 
     So when my feet land on sharp rocks, when it gets hard and I cry out and I'm out of breath and need living water I will remember that my Father loves this Psalmists heart and will hold me in his lap and let me drink from his well.   
     He will put my feet back on the path refreshed and I will have a joyful spring in my step like a child because of the hope and promise of the cool green valley that waits for me.  A place where the fragrance of flowers I've never seen take my breath away, where babbling brooks sing, where mountains will bow down and a baby Orangutan will jump into my arms.  
     I am yours, Lord. May you be glorified in me...