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Friday, April 12, 2013

A revelation conversation...

       (A revelation conversation)  

        "I have to scrap this whole thing, don't I?"  I ask Him.
     He looks down at me with a smile.   "What do you think?"
     "I don't think it fits me right," I tell Him and tug on the side.  "It's uncomfortable. It bugs me.  It has for a long time."
     He sighs, “Yes, but that happens when you try to wear someone else's clothes."
     "What are saying?”  My voice fills with frustration.  “You gave me these clothes."
     He tilts his head. "Did I?"
     I look down. "I thought you did." I pause. “They used to fit me better, didn't they?" I hold out my arms. " I love this top.”
     He laughs. "Yes, I love the top too, but those pants are way too big for you little girl.  You’ve been tripping over them since you put them on.”
      The truth in His words sting a little.  "I know,"  I admit, “I trip over them at every turn.  I don't even want to walk around in them any more."
     "So..."  He holds out his palms.  “why don't you just wear your own clothes?"
      I sink to my knees with the top I'm wearing clenched in my fists. I have to pry my hands away.  "I thought these were my clothes." I begin to cry. "I don't know where mine are."
     When I finally look back up at Him I feel his great and deep love. He smiles. “I'm going to let you keep that top. I like the way it looks on you.”
     I am weeping.  
     He reaches down and dries my tears. 

      "Tell me something," He says after I quiet down. "What do you know  from this journey we are on?"  
     I close my eyes and ponder His question. 
     "I know that you speak to me.”  I tell him.   
     "Yes.”  He smiles.  “What else?"
     "I see you. I know you.”
     “Very good. You’re beginning to understand.”  He picks up both my hands in His.  “What else?”
     My eyes fill up with tears again.  "I know you pulled something out of me I didn't know was in there?"
     "Yes!” He squeezes my hands before He lets them go.   
     I wipe my runny nose with the sleeve of my top.  

     “So I'm just suppose to forget about the, 'The Glory Road.'  All the time I've given it. All my hard work." 

     I stop for a moment to collect my thoughts and then, with passion I tell Him, "I'm writing again. I'm being faithful. I'm finishing it!"
     He leans back and tilts His head.  "And what is it exactly that you are finishing?"
     "Why aren't you listening?" I'm shouting now. "The Glory Road. My Bible study.”
     For a brief moment He is silent and then He takes a deep breath and pulls me into His lap.  

     "The Glory road I spoke to you about is not the formatted study that write precious girl, it is part of it but not the whole. It is who I am in you and where you are with me.  It is about our journey." 
      I begin to weep again and as He holds me I realize that tears hold both joy and sadness.  
     "It was for nothing then? 
     He lifts my chin and looks deep into my eyes.  "It wasn't for nothing, precious child. It was for you and for My Glory."
     I wipe my nose again, take a deep breath, and climb down from his lap. 

     "Well...I'm glad it's over then.  It was way too hard anyway.  All that computer stuff I had to teach myself, all those Bible apps, the commentaries, the research.”  

     I sniffle.  “I’m happy to be done with it.”
     “Are you finished?”  He asks. 
     I nod my head and His smile diffuses me.  I sniffle again.  “I'm not a Bible teacher am I?"
     "No, sweet girl, you are not.”  He pauses. But know that I sincerely love all your questions and I' love your passion and faithfulness in the study of it."  
     He takes the corner of His robe and dries my tears. “Now let me ask you something else?  Was there any joy in this challenging season?"
     I look down at the floor ashamed and humbled.  “So very much."  I say quietly. "More than I could ask or imagine."
     He reaches down and lifts my chin again.  “And where did you find that joy?"
     I take a deep breath.  "Every day I saw you.  Everyday I knew  you.  Everyday I took pictures. Everyday I wrote about you. Everyday I painted."

     " many moments of joy since that day two years ago that we talked in your car, huh?”  He smiles knowing that I am beginning to see.  
     I sniffle again.  “So very very many.”
     “I have just one more question for you today then. What was it that you tracked through my word, stopped to photograph and paint? That thing that brought you joy? 

     “Your Glory.”  I tell him. 
     There is a long pause in our conversation as we sit, His words settling over my spirit.    
   "This talk has been good, hasn't it?  I asked him, I’m not too rebellious am I?"
     He stands up.  "Now what kind of a question is that? Didn't I just take you back through the desert with my Israelite children in your Bible study."
      I laugh and get to my feet. "Yes, you did.”  I tell him.  "You’ve seen rebellion from your children before.” 
     We stand facing one another.  “So now what?”  I ask him.
     “You tell me.”  He says.
     “I will wait and see you.  I will wait and know you.  I will take pictures and I will paint.”
     He begins to walk away, then pauses and turn back.  "And where do you stand on this  journey with me, my child?” 
     “Me?”  I ask,  “I stand on The Glory Road.”

     "You want to ask me something. Go ahead." he says.

     My eyes fill with tears. "Will you please get Paul to Israel. It is such a big desire of his heart." Tears fall from my eyes.  

     "Oh...I love Paul so very much. Some of my deepest tears were cried for him.  Do you trust me ? 
     "Yes." I reply. "I trust you.  But..." I pause. "He wont go without me."
     He smiles then turns his back and continues to walk. 

     After a few steps, I hear him shout. "I can count on you to take some pictures? And you might have to paint a few things."          
     With tears I shout back.  "I can do that!" I tell him, "I can.  I'm on, The Glory Road."
     He lifts up his hand as a Goodbye. "The Glory Road indeed!"