The Secret

      I loved my Uncle Bill. He was my Mom's baby brother and a very young uncle. Mom was 19 when she and Dad married, and she was pregnant with Ron at the time. Bill was in Kindergarten. This made Bill closer to our age than Moms. 

   Every December and sometimes in the Summer, we would go visit Grandma and Bill in Enid, Oklahoma. As Ron and I got older, we thought Bill was the coolest thing ever. Well, I did anyway, but Ron always wanted Bill all to himself. When Bill became a teenager, Ron would disappear into Bills room with him for what seemed like hours listening to music and talking. I was so jealous while I sat with Grandma and learned to needlepoint. I love the memory I have now of that special time with Grandma Ruth, but in the moment all I wanted was to be in Bills room with the talk and the music.

     Once, during a Summer visit, Bill and Ron disappeared like always, but then shortly, came back out to the living room. Bill had just gotten his drivers license and he asked Mom and Grandma if he could take Ron on a drive. A drive with Uncle Bill! My heart raced. "Can I go too, Bill? Please?" But Ron wasn't having any of it. "No!" He said quickly. "Bill asked me to go."

     "Please?" I was begging, but didn't care. 

     "No!" Ron said again. 

     But Bill had a soft spot for me in his heart and I knew it.  "It's okay Ron," Bill said, "Pam can come too."

     Ron was really mad. I could see it all over his face as he stomped off back to Bills room. Bill followed him, but a few minutes later they both came back out and Grandma gave Bill some money to get us a treat at the gas station and we left.

     Ron was still stewing when he climbed in the front seat next to Bill, "You ruined everything." he said snarling. I didn't understand what he meant, but I didn't really care either. I was just glad to be with them. 

     Bill pulled into the gas station and the three of us went in for ice cream. As we were leaving, Bill stopped Ron and when I got to the car I saw them talking by the entrance door. I couldn't hear them, but I could tell it was a serious conversation.  A few minutes later, the boys climbed back into the front seat and Bill turned around to speak to me. "Pam, do you think you could keep a secret if I asked you too?"

     "Yes." I said immediately, "I can keep a secret."

     Ron was staring at me now too. 

     "You can't tell Aunt Mary, Uncle Elmer or Mom?  Bill said. "You can't tell anyone." 

     "Okay." I said, "I understand." I did start to feel a little nervous though. What was this secret? 

     A few minutes later, Bill pulled over and parked by a field. "I have some left over fireworks from 4th of July. Ron and I are going to shoot some off. You can tell anyone about it because we aren't' supposed to fire them after July 4th."

     Fireworks? Okay, I thought. I loved Pop Bottle Rockets and sparklers. This will be fun.  "Cool," I said, feeling relieved as I hopped out of the car. "I love fireworks." 

     But the sack that Bill took from the trunk did not have any Pop Bottle Rockets in it. The fireworks he pulled out were the kind that hung high on the wall at the back of the open trailers during pre 4th shopping. They were not for kids. Dad would never buy any of those. You had to use a flame to ignite them, and Bill used an old Bucket to set them on. I watched Bill light the first one. It shot high into the sky whistling and popped with an explosion. Oh Wow, I thought.

     "You can do the next one Ron," Bill said handing him the lighter. "Stay as far from it as you can when you light it," he told him, "then move away fast."  

     I could tell Ron was excited but also a little bit scared. These fireworks were nothing to mess around with. The second one whistled and popped just like the first one, and Ron now had a story to tell his friends at school.

    Now it was Bill's turn again. But this time, sparks started spraying from it right after it was lit, and it went up, but not very far, and then fell back to the ground on fire. Bill ran toward it, hoping to stomp the fire out, but it was spreading fast in the hot dry field.

     Bill came back running. Get in the car, he yelled, we have to call the fire department. This was around 1967 and Bill drove straight to a phone booth. He was sweating bad when he came back to the car.

     "They're coming. " he said, "But when they asked me for my name I hung up. Oh God." 

     Bill started the car. "Look," he said and pointed as we drove away. "There's the smoke." 

     We didn't go right home, and we heard the siren. 

     I started to cry. "Stop crying!" Ron said, "Mom will know that something is wrong."

     "I'm sorry, Pam." Bill said, "It'll be okay. "The firemen will put it out. I didn't think anything would happen."  

     I tried hard to pull it together, but I could tell that Bill was still pretty rattled. 

     "Do you think anyone saw us?" He asked.

     "I don't know," Ron replied. "I don't think so."

     The fire was put out quickly that hot summer day, but how the three of us arrived back at the house looking like everything was fine I'll never know. 

     Neither Mom nor Grandma suspected anything out of the ordinary as we settled back into the normalcy of a day at Grandma's house.

     I did eventually tell my Mom what happened that day, but it was many years later. I had told my Uncle Bill that I could keep a secret. I had promised, and I wanted him to trust me. It was a much bigger promise than the one it started out to be, but all was well in the end.

      I never did tell Grandma.