Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A Walker's zipper bag of Praise...

     



My girlfriends found me sitting at the top of the four stairs that lead down to our office and the new room that I call home. I was pouting because the zipper broke on the bag that another friend had tied to my walker, and now everything was falling out. I loved being able to take things with me from room to room. Now what was I  going to do?
     "Can we help you find another bag?" One of them asked. "Yes please," I reply, and I tell them where my bag stash is. They get them and go through them carefully trying to find one that compared in size to the one I had tied to the walker with the broken zipper because...
     "I really loved that one, " I told them. "It was the perfect size."
     "Does it have to have a zipper?" One of them asked. 
    "Well...yes."  Duh.  "I tried to get my water cup back from the bedroom with out the zipper and it fell out twice."
     "None of these have a zipper, Pam. I'm sorry."
     "What if we saftey pin it?" another said. 
     Have I mentioned that I am irritated by almost everything. 
     "I don't have a safety pin that big." I was trying hard not to sound as cranky as I felt.
     "Wait a minute!" One of them said as she got up and went outside. 
     Chris came back with the perfect zippered bag.  
     She explained that she uses it for groceries and that it had disappeared recently. She went on to say that she thought it might have been left it in the desert during a recent trip but had found it in her husbands car. 
     Now, here it was in her hand, just for me.
     "It's perfect." I squealed. "But...it's your favorite grocery bag. What if I break this zipper?" 
     "Ahhh," she replied waving the thought away with her hand. "I don't need the zipper."
     And so...irritated and all. I love my friends. I also love that God chose them and put them in my life for such a time as this with the simple gift of a walker bag...

Monday, December 9, 2013

Wading through a birthday flood...

My road to glory has had its obstacles, but I did not see this one coming and it flattened me.
I am broken and hurting but I've been here before and I know what to do.
And so...I climb into His lap.
It's familiar and warm and I snuggle in. I'm gonna be here awhile.
He holds me close and whispers reminders. Skies and sunsets and mountaintops and a garden. A death on a cross. Redemption. Grandsons. Promises. Truth. Knowing.
I never thought I'd be in a head on collision at 40 mph by snowcreek golfcourse on my way to Husky Club.
I have 3 fractured ribs, four fractures in three foot bones, and more bruises than I can see but this is nothing compared to what He endured for me.  I dont deserve better, and yet...
He is already at work making beauty from ashes because of a love I can not fathom and He knows that I wrestle with anger because the person who hit me had no drivers license or insurance and He knows I am sad because I loved my car and my phone and they were both destroyed. I say this knowing that these are just "things" and that many people never own a car or a phone and I understand how shallow this sounds and how very blessed I am but the statements and feelings are true all the same and I weep because I know He cares about my anger and my saddness and is at work in my own heart even now because of it.
I can not put my right foot to the ground for 6 weeks and it may need screws and a plate. I will know on Wed. But in this season of change I will get precious and quiet time with Him so I will talk and pray and praise which is a better birthday present than any "thing" of this world could ever be.
My new phone is on its way and so my pictures will follow because I see God everywhere and in the seeing of Him I draw near in worship and the knowing of Him follows this.  It is in this knowing that I can crawl into his lap not having the understanding or answers of why Samuel lived only 19 days or why Seasons precious Kicker was diagnosed with cancer,  but I can settled into his arms in absolute trust of His perfect love and soverign grace over all these things.
So...I sit in His lap. I sit in his lap and wait.